I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
