And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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