once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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