I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
