Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
