perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
