it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
