So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
