Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
