why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
