I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you still have your period?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
