You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
