***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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