We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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