I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
