doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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