As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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