Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
