Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
