Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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