There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
