I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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