just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
