i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
porn star boner night. come get it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
