I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
