the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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