Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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