IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
