pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
