you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
