just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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