Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
