i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
