sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
