are you still at the devil's house?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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