Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
its liver damage thursday
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
