in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
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