Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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