you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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