I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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