glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
