Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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