Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
