Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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