If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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