Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
