I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
