I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
