when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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