I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
