you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
