shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize