Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
