Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize