I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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