NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
