The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
