I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
