i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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